


Of Citrus & Firewhisky

by objectivity



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Melancholy, One Shot, Romance, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Tragedy, Wizarding Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 05:24:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14073822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/objectivity/pseuds/objectivity
Summary: "Coffee or tea?"Marlene snorted. "Merlin, aftertonight? Get me one of your finest whiskies, Black!"





	Of Citrus & Firewhisky

 

 

 

> .
> 
> _'She was everywhere he looked; but she was gone.'_

 

 

.

The stillness was foreign.

Sirius Black sprawled onto his side, grey eyes blankly looking at the peeling paint on the ceiling. His chest would repeatedly rise and fall. That mere action was the only movement and sound that was detectable. To him, the fact that he was breathing happened to be a sorrowful reminder that he was very much alive, although he felt that everything around him was mute and numb.

He didn't like it.

As a child, Sirius had despised the silence at the family dinner table; so much that he would strike any conversation just to hear himself babble the quietness away. His father would send him a icy, reprimanding glares, while he would receive a tight-lipped scolding from his mother. He was told that it wasn't proper etiquette to talk too much. Whenever Sirius tried to debate about unspoken topics (like comprehending why Muggles use broomsticks for cleaning, to why it was compulsory that every Black be placed in Slytherin), they would send him to the attic to reflect on his misbehaviour.

To Sirius, silence never been a positive sign.

Silence was humourless and Sirius was all about humour. He thrived on foolish jokes, sparking hexes around like confetti, making snarky witty comments, pulling pranks and doing anything _and_ everything to licit a good laugh for himself and the people around him. Humour was ingrained into his personality – a feat that his cousin, Andromeda, had often told him was his coping mechanism that he had developed from being raised in their deranged, devout Noble House of Black. His stoney-faced family were too obsessed with being Pureblooded and praised old teachings that was were well past their expiry date.

The Black household had taught him that one could feel like he was alone, despite existing in a room filled with people.

He didn't belong there.

Upon attending Hogwarts, Sirius had finally felt at home.

He had been housed in Gryffindor - much to his family's repulsion - and had befriended three boys: James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Their fierce brotherhood had bloomed, that they had even titled themselves as 'The Marauders'. Sirius considered the boys closer to him than his actual immediate family. They had shown him an alternate life could exist.

They had shown him freedom.

Although Sirius was prone to chattering too much, his friends wouldn't dismiss him and would actually listen to his pointless ramblings. Whenever Sirius initiated pranks, they'd join him in his antics (though, there was that odd occasion when Remus would choose not to participate). They didn't see him as the heir to one of the most prodigious Wizarding families. Instead, they saw him just as Sirius – and, to him, that was all he had ever wanted.

As the Sirius grew older, and the times were getting darker, his opinions on the war began to deviate away from his family's.

He couldn't say anything at the household without getting punished. Sirius' thoughts, values and questionings were all considered invalid. Everybody already looked down on him ever since he had been sorted into Gryffindor. He couldn't listen to his elders because he didn't find their stances correct - especially when they'd mad-mouth and say unnecessary racist comments.

One day his mother had gleefully told him that a dozen half-bloods and blood traitors had died and suggested that they host a party to celebrate, Sirius couldn't bite his tongue any longer. His mother had slapped him, his father had spiced things up by hitting him with _Cruciatus Curse_. And, before Sirius knew it, in whirlwind of rage, he had tossed his clothing and belongings into a leather suitcase, abandoning his home and finding himself in front of The Potter's Manor.

When Sirius had graduated, he moved out of The Potters and splurged his inherited gold onto the crumby flat, that he was currently living in. His friends treated his home as their own headquarters. His place was constantly bustling with noise, cackling laughter with drunken rowdy yelling. He preferred his place to be filled with sound because sound meant life. So when Mr. and Mrs. Potter had passed away, Sirius had offered a room to James and gained his best friend as a new roommate, (despite James arguably having the tendency to snore as loud as the Hogwarts Express - not that he'd ever admit it).

At least James' snoring meant there was sound, that there was life.

The absence of sound in his apartment made him feel weary.

Especially when he was used to hearing her laughter in his ears...the way her bubbling laughter echoed, and would ring in his ears. He wished he could hear it again; to have it back. Her laugh tended to bring colour, even in the deep, bleakest places.

He sighed.

_Marlene McKinnon._

Sirius reminisced that first time she had entered his flat he had watched her throw off her shoes, her long legs gliding towards the worn-out leather couch before her body crashed onto it. Her wavy, long blond hair cascaded over her face in loose tendrils, deep blue eyes closed as she massaged her temple. She hadn't wanted to go home, so Sirius offered her to stay at his place for the night.

The mission had been a tough one.

He had lingered in the the kitchen, fists balled so tightly that his hands had turned white. He hadn't known what to do. Even though he was at home, his whole body felt tense. He was shaking in rage, exhaustion and frustration. Sirius had then had spared another glance at McKinnon.

The Order has assigned Marlene to be his partner on the mission. Sirius was often paired up with the other Marauders, but James had been preoccupied that night and Remus and Peter had been doing a separate task. That, and the real reason was because Marlene had lost her designated partner, Emmeline Vance, during one of the raids the week beforehand. It had taken Sirius five minutes tops to adapt to McKinnon's duelling technique, and once he figured it out, he knew he could trust in her skills as they worked back to back, fighting against the Death Eaters.

Marlene was a gifted witch. She was a year younger than he and, according to the Hogwarts professors, she excelled in all her subjects. Sirius knew that much – that, and well, she was quite the looker. When she was granted features that consisted of blond hair and blue eyes, would could go wrong? Sirius regretted not chatting to her or engaging in a one-off snog. She radiated ebulliently without even noticing it and, perhaps, that was why he strayed away from her whenever he'd seen her sitting in the Gryffindor common room.

She seemed too perfect, too innocent; while he, on the other hand, was too dark.

"Darn migraine," Marlene grumbled.

Sirius knew it wasn't, but gave a small smile as he she pulled her legs onto the couch and rested her head onto a cushion. Although he wasn't in a courteous mood, he gathered that since he was in the kitchen he might as well brew something. He pulled out two mugs from the cupboard.

"Coffee or tea?"

Marlene snorted. "Merlin, after _tonight_? Get me one of your finest whiskies, Black!"

"You said you had a migraine," Sirius pointed out, smirking.

"Don't lie to me. I know you have an endless supply of Firewhisky stashed somewhere! If you don't pour me some, I'll have to hunt through your place myself," Marlene snapped. However, Sirius could see her lips curving upwards.

Sirius chuckled. "You got me. I can't hide from you, McKinnon."

He replaced the mugs with glasses, pouring a generous load of whisky into each. Marlene was right. They needed a drink after what they had witnessed that night. Coffee and tea would not suffice it.

Marlene was walking around barefooted in the lounge. She poked at the blank parchment (the Marauder's map) that sat on the table, browsed through the shelves of books (that primarily belonged to James), scoffed at the motorcycle helmet and smiled at Sirius' broomstick that had been collecting dust in the corner of the room.

Sirius was at her side, passing a glass over to her, as Marlene studied a present that Lily had bought James for his birthday. To his surprise, Marlene knew the functions of the Muggle invention. She pressed a button then adjusted a silver knob and soon music began to hum out of the speakers.

"Oh, so _that's_ what it does," Sirius blinked, amazed.

Marlene laughed, a bubbly laugh, that made Sirius's attention focus back onto her.

"You have a motorbike, wear tattered Muggle clothing and _yet_ you don't know what a radio is?"

"Well McKinnon, I didn't take up Muggle Studies," Sirius defended himself. "And how do _you_ know how to use it?"

"I'm a half-blood." Marlene didn't flinch, but Sirius had caught the slight tremble in her voice, obviously remembering their near-to-death encounter with the Death Eaters a few hours back.

Marlene then quoted the words that his cousin had threatened her with. "Apparently I _deserve_ to die."

Sirius paled at the thought. Bellatrix, his dear, demented cousin had almost got Marlene. Sirius had gotten there just on time, as he had seen Bellatrix resting her wand on Marlene's throat while vehemently raging about how McKinnon was a disgrace and had disgusting blood running through her veins. If Bellatrix hadn't gotten all carried away and grandiosely spoken about the Dark Lord, Sirius wouldn't have been able to hurl her off Marlene. That was one of his cousin's faults – Bellatrix tended to speak too much and get into her fanatic tangents, that it gave them a glaring opening to attack her.

" _Filthy blood traitor_!" Bellatrix had bellowed at him, her words still burning in his ears as they had escaped from her, hand-in-hand.

Had Bellatrix always been _this_ psychotic? Thinking about it all made Sirius shudder. Sirius went back to grab the Firewhisky bottle from the counter and slipped it onto the coffee table. He had already downed his glass and, by the rate they were going, they _might_ actually go through his stash.

What a _horrible_ night it had been.

"Potter?" Marlene's voice brought him back. "Where is he?"

For the first time that evening, Sirius had grinned. Before the mission Sirius had witnessed how nervous his best friend was. He had never seen James put so much effort into his appearance since the Hogwart's Graduation Ball. James had unbuttoned and re-buttoned his shirt three times, before pulling on his pants the wrong way twice. Sirius had helped him gel out his hair and even mumbled a charm to stop James from involuntarily shaking.

"He's with Lily." Sirius sheepishly said, "Let's just say that he won't be sleeping here tonight..."

Marlene arched an eyebrow. "I thought he was busy? Don't tell me they ditched the task to go on a date? Did Dumbledore even approve of this?"

"Not just _any_ date," Sirius gave a crooked smile. "James is going to propose."

Her blue eyes sparkled, lips spreading out in a delighted simper that brightened up her whole face. She closed the gap between them and gave him a hug, crushing the air out of his lungs. Sirius didn't know why she was hugging him, as it wasn't he who was proposing, but it felt right. "That's the best news I've heard for a long time, _Sirius_!"

As well as being the first time she had been to his flat, it had also been the first time Sirius had heard her utter his name.

They collapsed onto the couch and Sirius guffawed as Marlene began to rave on about Lily and James, interrogating Sirius how and where James was going to propose, what type of cut the diamond ring was (Sirius had no idea), and when the wedding would be. At least talking about Lily and James would bring them out of the depressing rut they were in.

"Lily used to tell me that if she ever got married, she'd make me the maid of honour," Marlene ranted on, excitedly. "I can't wait to go gown shopping with her-"

"Whoa, hold on there," Sirius broke her sentence. "We don't know if Lily's even said yes."

Marlene shot him an incredulous look.

"Fine, it's as plain as day she'll say yes." Sirius stretched his arms over his head, satisfied that his shoulders weren't as stiff as they were, all thanks to the liquor. "That means I should commence planning for James' final wild night out with the boys."

"We don't know when they'll even be getting married!" Marlene remarked, forgetting that she had been getting into a frenzy earlier talking about weddings dresses. Sirius saw her shoulders droop. "If they get married within the year, we'd have to use a heap load of protective charms and...as much as I'm excited, it's scary, isn't it?"

No matter how they tried to distract themselves with other talk, they found themselves talking about the ongoing Wizarding War.

"It's a risk," Sirius agreed, filling up her empty glass and passing it to her. "But James is all about taking risks – especially when it comes down to the people he cares about."

"He's like you," Marlene softly commented. "Don't you think?"

For a split second, her words had thrown him off guard. Sirius was certain that she hadn't meant to compliment him out loud. He couldn't disguise the twinkle of amusement in his grey eyes as he discerned her cheeks tinting a light pink.

"Though, I like taking risks, James' going ahead with this does worry me," Sirius muttered. "If it were me, I would have waited until the war was over before committing to something as terrifying as marriage. It's like selling your soul to Voldemort."

Marlene took another sip from her glass. "You think marriage is terrifying? Have you ever thought that Potter's proposal was because he wants to do it now in case something happens to them in the future?"

Sirius knew what she addressing, and it was something Sirius never wanted to think about. It was too melancholy and sombre. The thought of any of his close friends dying frightened him to pieces. The deaths of Mr. and Mrs. Potter, members from _The Order_ , and the killings of his previous Non-Pureblooded schoolmates had been more than enough to deal with. He didn't know if he could possibly handle anybody else leaving.

"Nothing will happen to them." Sirius replied, determinedly. "I won't allow it."

She nodded, but it lacked confidence – not that she didn't have confidence in Sirius, as it was the unknown future that made her anxious.

They were up to their third bottle of Firewhisky before their conversations no longer involved the daunting seriousness of war, as their babbling began to lack sequence and make no sense whatsoever.

Marlene queried why Sirius was named ' _Padfoo_ t' as she thought it was ridiculous nickname, while Sirius took a jab at how she had been dumped by Diarmid Finley because she had mistaken Callum, Diarmid's identical twin brother, for him. Then they would progress to banter about moronic things, like how James would be the only wizard that Sirius would turn gay for, which lead Marlene to revealing how she had been dared once to make out with Alice Longbottom, much to Sirius' sick, twisted excitement.

The girl-to-girl kiss repeatedly played in Sirius' mind with piqued interest. Sirius had declared that he couldn't keep the scandalous secret from Frank, as it tainted the newly wedded couple's relationship – which earned Marlene to punch him on the shoulder.

Marlene said again, "It was a dare and it was over five years ago."

"And why wasn't I invited?" Sirius complained. "What goes down in the girls' dorms must be enticing. Maybe I should have requested to bed with you?"

"Like that would happen, Black." Even drunk, Marlene didn't fail to notice the sexual innuendo. However, she did lean in closer that Sirius could vaguely scent citrus, as she pushed him back onto the opposite side of the couch. "Keep dreaming."

Sirius had a delayed reaction, slurring back a few seconds later. "Is that a challenge, sweetheart?"

Marlene knew she was in trouble then. She could see the faint glimmer of wildness in his features as he eyed her like she was his prey. She had walked into this one and, frankly, Marlene didn't give a damn.

"So?" Sirius prompted her. He shuffled closer towards her, invading her personal space and waited.

The atmosphere was thick with a different type of tension. Her heart pattered against her chest, getting more flustered by the second. She hated that Sirius was watching her soundlessly, waiting for her to make the next move.

There was so much at steak. They had joined The Order right after they reached of age, had to force themselves to grow up because of the war. It wasn't often they had a break...and, for once, Marlene wanted to have fun with somebody and Sirius - at that particular time- seemed to be a worthy contender.

_Game on._

She licked her lips. She smiled, smugly. "Whatever you want to think it is, _sweetheart._ "

Sirius was already on her. He lifted her onto his lap and roughly pushed her back onto the couch as their mouths pressed against each other, tongues dancing in a whirlwind of lust. Their kisses were frantic and starved, tasting of the Firewhisky that blazed down their throats. Marlene could feel his smug smile against her lips and she let out a whimper when his hands went up her shirt. In moments Sirius had carried her to his bed. They tumbled around, fighting for dominance. As they stripped each other, their bodies would get tangled in the bedsheets.

_Was it because of the liquor? Was it because they wanted to forget?_

Regardless, they woke up the next morning with Sirius smirking and Marlene awkwardly, yet bubbly, laughing that it had been mistake.

However, they kept doing the mistake over and over again. It soon became a pattern.

Their addictive routine progressed into a form of comfort, something that helped them cope with what was going around them. They'd confide with each other, then resort to drinking Firewhisky until dawn, while getting in heated arguments, which would eventually leave them into sleeping together over and over again. The mistake had turned into a habit.

Marlene was a blessing in disguise, who had accidentally and subtly drifted into Sirius' life at the right time.

Shortly after James and Lily's engagement, James had moved out of Sirius' flat and ino Godric's Hollow.

Sirius hated being alone and because he also hated silence, he had made Marlene keep him company. Before he knew it, Sirius couldn't get rid of her. Then again, he hadn't made the effort to tell her to go away either. He liked her company.

Considering Marlene had been always at his place, she naturally ended up taking James' old room. She had moved in without Sirius realising it.

Ironically, the same could be said how Sirius had fallen in love with her.

It was unexpected, but Sirius wasn't denying or running away from it either. If he had been younger, he would have avoided Marlene like the plague upon the discovery that he _actually_ had feelings for a woman. However, with the war at hand Sirius wanted to ensure that she was with him wherever he went – even though, Merlin forbid, he would never confess to her.

Despite the emptiness of the war, Marlene's presence was vibrant and colourful. While on standby to flip the pancakes, Sirius would join her for a dance in the kitchen, spinning her around while she'd roar out in bubbly laughter. Sirius adored the way her eyes crinkled and how her dimples poked at her cheeks, as she'd gracefully dance to the loud, bombastic jazz melody.

She had a cheap preference whenever it came to food, but whenever it related to fashion she was stubbornly expensive. Her fragrance was of refreshing citrus. She didn't smell sweet, like Lily's scent, but her personality combated it. Marlene was like Sirius' other piece in his missing puzzle. She was more caring than he'd ever be, had a sense of rationality and pulled him out of trouble whenever his mouth spoke before his thoughts.

And then, one day, she was disappeared...

.

_October 2, 1981 at approximately 21:47 at the Canterbury Estate, the McKinnon family was ambushed by Death Eaters._

Sirius discovered it the hard way. He woke up by himself the next morning and found that she wasn't by his side. Panic had rushed through his veins. He had leapt out of bed and rushed out of the bedroom only to find The Order loitering around in his lounge. His heart sunk when he saw the desolate, grieving expressions engraved on their sunken faces.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," Lily cried as she cradled his grandson in her arms. Tears brimming her green eyes, but she didn't say anything else as she began to sob.

" _No_ ," Sirius whispered, not wanting to believe what was unfolding before him.

James took a step towards him, enveloping Sirius into a solid embrace. Sirius shook him off, coldly looking around at the members of The Order. He glowered, "But Meadowes was with her."

Face contorted in pain, Remus grimaced. "Dorcas is gone too, Padfoot. They wiped out everybody in the Estate."

"You're _wrong_ ," Sirius hoarsely choked out, rejecting what Remus was saying.

Dumbledore started, "Mr. Black-"

"If we can't protect Marlene, how do you suppose we protect everybody else?" Sirius interjected. He stuttered, "She wasn't supposed to die yet. She, I-we..."

" _Sirius._ " James clapping a hand on his shoulder.

His back hunched, unable to hold back his anguish. Sirius pivoted on his heel and returned back to his bed, slamming the door behind him. It wasn't real; it couldn't be real. He was having a nightmare. That's what it was. When he'd wake up again, everything would be fine – everything would be normal. She would be there; she was _always_ there.

Sirius woke up and could feel that his eyelids were swollen. He ran his fingers through his jet-black hair, brushing his locks to the side of his face and frowned when he didn't see Marlene next to him. However, his heart skipped a beat when the odour of pancakes wafting into the air. Instinctively, he rolled out of bed and hastily made it of the bedroom.

Disappointment shattered him when he saw the pancakes stacked up under glad wrap. They were perfect circles and even were cooked with the correct golden-brown colour. Marlene hadn't made them, since Marlene specialised in burning the edges of every pancake she had ever cooked. Sirius would always criticise Marlene's culinary skills, but had grown accustomed to her cooking.

His thoughts were confirmed when he saw a piece of parchment with Lily's cursive writing insisting that he eat. Sirius let out a sigh, shoving the plate away from plain sight.

Every day was a struggle for him.

How Sirius loathed the silence. If Sirius could personify anybody to be sound, it would be Marlene.

Marlene's presence was loud and entertaining and, by himself, he was lost, wandering aimlessly around with no sense of direction. He didn't care of the war anymore, he didn't care if he died. The Order had banned him from jobs for a week because they knew he was unstable and, as Remus stated, Sirius might willingly walk into an _Adava Kedarva_ curse for the sake of it. Every promise of the future was gone because Sirius had hoped and envisioned Marlene to be his future.

"Lily actually made the effort to make those for you, you know?" Sirius almost jumped when he heard James's voice slice into the bitter stillness.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, spotting James languidly lounging on the couch as he observed him in exchange. His best friend exaggeratedly pinched his nose in unadulterated revulsion.

"When was the last time you dunked your head under the shower? Padfoot, I can smell you from here and you stink like my unwashed crusty Quidditch socks."

"You're one to talk about cleanliness," Sirius quipped back. "You and I know that the man with the most unkempt hair is the messiest out of the both of us. I've lived with him."

"Padfoot, stop talking about yourself," James sneered, but dropped the joke because he could read that Sirius was not in his usual mood for pointless bickering. He patted the space next to him. "At least talk to me? You haven't been out the flat for four days."

Sirius took his offer, sinking into the couch, but decided against looking at man in specked glasses.

"It's different, isn't it Prongs?" Sirius finally spoke. "We've dealt with your parents dying, and I thought that it was worst, but we _somehow_ got through it. Yet, this...this is different. I-I don't know what to do."

"Take it one step at a time."

"How can I?" Sirius hissed and soon, all his thoughts that he had kept locked inside his head, flooded out of his mouth. He couldn't contain himself anymore. "She's _everywhere._ "

Sirius didn't wait for James to respond.

"It's like I'm trapped in this eerie dream and she's teasing the hell out of me. She's here, but she isn't. I'm going crazy. And her poisonous laughter, _Merlin,_ her laughter - I can hear it wherever I go. I remember how she'd laugh whenever we'd shag everywhere, even on this couch."

James groaned and actually stood up from the couch, folding his arms. "I didn't want you tell me _every_ little detail." He transferred to a wooden chair besides the dining table. "Please don't tell me you shagged here even when I was still living with you?"

When Sirius didn't reply, James exclaimed out, appalled. " _Padfoot!_ "

"I couldn't help it." Sirius looked away from him, continuing to ramble. "She's everywhere, James. And even her scent...it's present everywhere in this stupid flat. It scares the shit out of me because I know that one day I won't be able to smell her pathetic citrus perfume on the sheets. Because-I-I don't think I'm ready to let her go."

"You don't have to," James reassured him.

"But I should have been there. I could have stopped it." Sirius exhaled. "I'm _so_ sick of people dying, James."

"That's why we need to fight," James retorted. "We can't let _him_ have his way. This is nobody's fault and it definitely isn't yours, so don't blame yourself and drown yourself in self-flagellation. It doesn't look great on you and I-I don't want you do anything stupid. I mean, you're guaranteed to to stupid things because it's you, but I won't accept it if you voluntarily walk into suicide because you fear living. We don't need any more martyrs."

"I get it, I get it."

"No, _you_ listen to me." James lectured, as his voice got louder. "I'm dead serious about this. I won't forgive you if you die and don't you dare forget that because I will hunt you in the afterlife. I specifically appointed you as Harry's godfather for a reason, so you better stick around to help me raise him. You're my brother, Sirius and I..I _need_ you."

Sirius genuinely smiled. It was not every day James spoke abashedly about his emotions out in the open, and Sirius appreciated that he did. The married man had said the right words that Sirius yearned to hear – a talent that James had the knack for. James always knew how to infamously tug at the heart strings.

"I don't think Lily would fancy you professing your love to me, Prongs. She'd be furious."

"And then you're back to you." James chortled, shaking his head. "If I had known that you wanted me to tell you how desperately I wanted to get into your pants, you should have told me earlier. Cheering you up would have been much faster."

"All is fair in the game of called love," Sirius winked.

When Marlene had died, Sirius had overlooked everything _and_ everyone else who mattered in his life. Sirius had briefly lost his way, and it was just like James to force him back onto the footpath to get his thick skull to see the bigger picture. It wasn't that Sirius had been selfish, as it was normal for him to grieve, but his own negativity that he had holed himself in had made his stance waver.

He loved Marlene, yet he couldn't ignore the happenings around him forever. People were dying every day and his friends needed his assistance to put an end to Voldemort's power. Voldemort had murdered Marlene and Sirius knew that the demonic wizard was capable of exterminating even more innocent people if he wasn't stopped.

"Jokes aside, I can't have you flaking on us, Sirius. I need to inform the others in The Order that you're still fit for this." James conclusively asked him, "Are you in?"

Sirius confirmed, "I'm in."

"Good."

Thinking his job was done, James stood up and prepared himself to Apparate back to Godric's Hollow. Nonetheless, he paused in motion when he caught Sirius stammering.

"Marlene...I-I should have told her, James."

James connected the dots together. He guessed, "That you loved her?"

"I-I-no...yes," Sirius admitted, scratching his head in a rueful manner. He had never told anybody about how he felt for Marlene, and it was like James to see through him. "Prongs, do...do you reckon-"

"Do I really need to tell you this, Sirius?" James questioned, as Sirius searched his best friend's face for confirmation that he wasn't completely being oblivious. "You could tell from the way she stared at you. Anybody could see it because it was as clear as day."

Sirius bit his bottom lip, regret aching in his heart. He could still taste Firewhisky at the tip of his tongue.

If she had seen him in the state he currently was in, she would have scoffed and flicked her long hair at him, making him get a decent whiff of her citrusy aroma. Marlene would then ridicule him, serenading him with that darn bubbly laughter that only she possessed - the laughter that effortlessly evaporated any sign of stillness.

"Of course Marlene loved you, Padfoot."

Like always, James managed to find the right words.

Tears blurred Sirius' vision. His shoulders drooped down as his body emitted a sequence of quivers; facade eventually collapsing. James took the opportunity to take a seat next to him, throwing a comforting arm around his best friend's shoulders as Sirius Black wept.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! It kind of turned out to be depressing in the end. I'll most likely edit this again at some point because I'm not entirely happy with this.


End file.
